(For the girl I lit the candles for)

I generally don’t write much poetry.  When I do, it’s sporadic and for very special topics or occasions.  I wrote more when I was younger – I

would say that most of them could have benefited from more experience and insight.  I did write one about you and you got to read it.  In fact, you are the only person who has read all those poems by my younger self.  I selectively showed some to others, but never the whole set.

You’re also the only person who’s both intercepted one of my passes and caught a touchdown (diving and in the same game too).  This was right before you went off to college and I to law school at some type of leaders retreat.  At some prayer session, I was so frustrated with law school applications, so afraid I couldn’t get in anywhere decent and I cried.  You also cried then.  I asked you whether if it had something to do with your sisters and you said yes.  John Legend’s song All of Me – I wish I had the talent to write something like this for you.  It expresses much of how I feel. His lines though “How many times do I have to tell you? Even when you’re crying, you’re beautiful too” – I don’t get that one, you were especially beautiful when you were crying.  These days, I cry for all the times I could and should have, but didn’t because of the armor.  It feels freeing and good.

On the car ride back, we talked a bit about the future. I asked you where you were applying and when you told me, it just felt sad – didn’t and couldn’t even pinpoint why. I just knew it was the appropriate feeling to have. It was the feeling of an impending loss and ending of a chapter. And maybe it was.