(For the girl I lit the candles for)

This one time we were sitting in the lobby of church when we were discussing the future.  You were always smart, yeah I know you worked hard, but who are we kidding?  So I think I asked you whether you wanted to be a doctor.

Your reply caught me a little by surprise.  That you were hesitant to choose that route because you wanted a family. What you said also gave me a glimpse into more of who you were and are, someone grounded and thoughtful.  But I also knew you wanted adventure.  All that I respected and admired about you.

I often wonder whether you received or accomplished all that you dreamt of.  Paper only tells so much.  I wonder.

For me, I dreamt and I didn’t. Most of the time, I was just trying to make it to the next day.  But if I am really honest, I dreamt big dreams – many of which weren’t all that specific and that others would laugh at as unrealistic, foolish, unattainable.   I dreamt of a great, impactful life.  And I think some dreams did come true.  While some of them are in ashes, some remain, maybe even stronger than before.  And now we wait for new ones.

And I dreamt of you.  Not just in a metaphorical sense, but also in my sleeping hours – quite possibly the person I’ve dreamt of the most.  In some of them, you can’t stay to talk and you have somewhere to go (very much like in waking hours), but in some of them, it’s different.  When I wake up, I remember the dream and the good feelings linger.