When I found out I was to be admitted to the hospital, I felt relief.  At the least, I’d be taken care of.  When they told me it may be cancer, I said to myself – ok, I’m ready.  I was exhausted.  One of the nurses said I had high pain tolerance, anyone else would have been screaming but I was still cracking jokes.  All those years working in industrial labs, tough positions, and assorted experiences counted for something.

The first person I shared a room with was a bit difficult.  He watched TV the whole night at a high volume.  His wife and a church member visited and would pray.  Once I just said – Ma’am that’s a great praye – so they asked me my name so they could pray for me too.  The next person was a pastor so we joked about being there together.  The third one was angry.  He accused nurses of trying to kill him.  No – they were just trying to give him injections.  

But God or the universe has good timing.  Shortly thereafter, I got moved to an intermediate care unit where the care was somewhat better.  When I got returned, I only stayed a few more days.

What’s this all about?

I think it’s still about surrender.

There’s this priest I like – Fr. Mike Schmitz.  He says that surrender is giving God access to your life – good, bad, and all the in-betweens.  After the hospital, I also started to use this app – Hallow.  They had good YouTube commercials. 

The most powerful segments were the Surrender Novena that teaches us to let God take care of everything.  This does not mean doing nothing but rather allowing God to do something.

I realize there are roughly two ways in which I can live.  Use what I have to get what I need or want, or allow God to use those same skills and experiences to accomplish the same things.  

It sounds similar.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

This one is about allowing God in.

U2’s guitarist said that they were below average musicians who asked God to give them His songs.  He did.  When you listen to their early albums, you can hear their talent but they haven’t mastered their instruments.  Some of the play is sloppy – especially the bassist who is arguably the least talented musically of the group.

But those songs have endured.

The one I constantly listen to and quote is 40, their rendition of the Davidic Psalm.

I’ve learned this many times in my life.  Sometimes all you can do is wait.

But it is worth it.

I waited patiently for the Lord 

He inclined and heard my cry

He lift me up out of the pit

Our of the miry clay

He set my feet upon a rock

Make my footsteps firm

Many will see 

Many will see and hear 

Yet how long to sing this song?