I had a Glock 32, .357 caliber.  That’s a big gun.  No safety too and extra rounds.  I only shot it once.  I was accurate.  I had only shot a gun once before that, .45 at DA Training Camp near Hershey Park.  I can credit this to the gangster side of my family but I think it was more to do with shooting a basketball.  I realize this year that it’s the same process.  Set your feet, have a good stance, breathe in, breathe out, aim, release.  That’s all.  For the record, guns aren’t my thing.  The US needs to control it better and way too many people fantasize about shooting them sideways like in the movies (absolutely not the way to go, you’re more inclined to shoot yourself that way).  I could hold my own against several officers at the range.  But like many things I did, I hid this – they thought I loved math and played video games like all Asians do.  I’m actually not that good at those.  I had to cheat off someone to survive calculus and I can only generally play sports games.

This one is about how nothing is wasted.

I had no intention of entering the legal or criminal justice world.  I was originally going to be a high school biology teacher per some terrible and poor guidance from church leaders.  Nothing wrong with that vocation, I count my high school teachers to be the best influences in my life and perhaps the most noble profession.  But that wasn’t my destiny (at least back then).  But that science and teaching background came into play repeatedly over the course of my career and personal life.  I think this is beyond looking for connections just for the sake of it.  This, to me, is evidence of a plan or design.  Free will and all but as my high school Spanish teacher says – God has a plan.

The hard part in all of this for me is believing that the plan is a good one –  not just for others,  but for me.  The point, in my opinion, is to look back and say, wow, what a ride.  That it was worth the waiting in line and the price of admission. 

Someone asked me whether I wanted to be a famous writer.  I said nope, the glory can all go to God.  I don’t say that with a holler than thou attitude, maybe a bit tinged with resignation and resentment, but it’s about something else – likely the faith that nothing is wasted.  There have been some very famous writers who have had unhappy ends – Hemingway, Plath, David Foster Wallace.  And this is true of any vocation or profession – the whys are more important than the whats.

It’s not applicable to all events but I realized I needed something from many of the places I’ve been – especially in unexpected and trying times.  It only became clear much later on many occasions.  My faith teaches that all things work out for good, even and especially those meant for harm.

And also, a bit under the radar, the seemingly trivial and mundane.  I once had this job in college where I was pretty much an administrative assistant.  It had no connection with my major or planned career path.  In fact, it happened the summer before my senior year.  It only occurred to me recently why I had that job – it was for a recommendation for law school as I worked for my academic advisor.  I went to a large state school and didn’t know many professors personally.  That job was also a last minute audible because the one I was set for couldn’t take me as I was still a non-citizen at that time.  Mysterious ways and maybe belief.

I now think that the destination is set and the path is the variable.  Not the other way around.  What and how we choose determines the color and tone of the eventual outcome.  Eowyn had this brilliant classmate in pre K whom I asked whether time is a river.  He said it only appeared that way to some.  I asked when he would start his company so I could work for him and he could also marry my daughter.

And maybe cheat off him in math.