(From the Indiana years)

Tonight, I read some passages by Henri Nouwen.  Nouwen was a college professor and Christian who left his high position to serve the severely disabled in Canada.  His writing on topics such as vocation, compassion, and loneliness are particularly striking. 

He identifies loneliness as one of the most common problems in modern society.  But rather than labeling loneliness as a disease to be cured at all costs, he compares it to the Grand Canyon, a place of barrenness but also of great beauty.  In short, he argues that in loneliness can we find true community and acceptance.  

His writing on relationships is also profound.  He writes that people try to meet their needs through marriage, intimacy, and sexuality.  At first, this works, but eventually people realize that to ask another human being to remove loneliness is an impossible task.  Yet they still try and this leads to resentment, hate, and divorce. 

On compassion, he tells a story about his pet goat that he had in his youth.  He loved the goat and nurtured it as it grew up.  One day, he went to where the goat was tethered and found it gone.  He thought it was stolen and he wept over the loss of his beloved goat.  It was years later though when he found out that his father’s gardener had stolen the goat and killed it to feed his family.  His father never confronted the gardener.  Nouwen writes that loving the goat and his father’s forbearance taught him compassion.  

Nouwen’s thoughts on vocation are also powerful.  He recounts watching stories of AIDS patients and victims of genocide, while feeling guilt and powerlessness.  Yet he says that despite those feelings, he had the responsibility to press on in his calling and to do whatever good he could accomplish.  

What was also interesting about Nouwen was his ability to speak inspirationally to crowds yet go back to his room feeling lonely and deserted.  This is eeriely similar to Janis Joplin recounting her experiences as a performer on stage. (What is the difference between a Christian and non-Christian in this area of life?)  

Nouwen chose to remain celibate (he struggled with homosexual tendencies over his lifetime) but yearned to be special in the eyes of another.  He wrestled with finding true acceptance in the love of Christ. The most striking part about Nouwen was his descending to serve others.  

In our society and even in church, we value and respect those who achieve.  In my former church, a quick look at the deacons and elders of the church reveals that they are people in high positions in life.  When was the last time we saw a janitor or mechanic appointed to serve in one of those positions?  This is not to say all those who currently serve are unworthy (although we are all unworthy in one way or the other).  But this raises a suspicion that as Christians we may not be very different than what the world is.  We tend to equate holiness and godliness with secular success.  I do not believe this is a good thing.