If you couldn’t tell, I didn’t have the easiest time growing up in a Chinese church.  In a congregation made up primarily of Mandarin and Cantonese people, I was labeled a banana or Twinkie – yellow on the outside and white on the inside.  I really loved classic rock, alternative rock, and some metal.  But I think I just didn’t like the submissive compliant role I was supposed to play.

The summer I was in Minnesota, I got blasted by some church leaders for being difficult.  Ok, I am but those cases don’t get won by an easier person and neither do those students taught.

But I was young and got upset.  So I drove to Lake Superior, parked next to it, and wrote a poem.  I remember the first line, forgot most of the middle, but it’us the last line that has been etched in my memory.

“I know who I am

I am ready to go home.”

That was also the summer when I told a teammate to foul someone hard in basketball to prevent him from scoring.  To my surprise, a timeout was called and I got pulled from the game.  A deacon was summoned to tell me that’s not how they played the game.

In my head I was thinking, how exactly do you play the game here?  Like little girls?  Which would be an insulut to little girls because I ended up learning that little girls were much tougher than the guys I was playing with.

At that point of my life, I had already played in the inner city of DC,  Nashville, and most importantly, Philadelphia (tough as nails).  And I was raised on pre-offense only NBA basketball where every bucket had to be earned.

I didn’t really obey as you may have imagined.  I kept hand checking on defense and got talked to again.  I really miss this version of me.