In my life, I knew how to fight 360.  I had no choice.  I wish it was anything else but we often don’t choose our paths and yet we do.  I had to learn – painful as hell but probably worth it.  It is about instinct and timing.  It is also about trust.  In God.

A good friend of mine said that many of the people in our lives who shouldn’t have, failed us.  Parents, pastors, mentors, friends.  Miserable and disappointing.

But also freeing and empowering.

Because it forces you to turn to God for full dependence.  That sounds absolutely silly and crazy.  But it makes sense.  When you step back and let God in, that’s when the magic really occurs.  I teach my kids to ask God to give them His dreams because while they may be scary, they will end up being greater and more fulfilling than anything they can conjure up for themselves.  And a dream from God can only be accomplished with His help.  That’s how you know.

Again, this is scary and many cannot walk this road.  I’m not sure I can myself.  But I think I’ve done so, at least in part in the past.  This isn’t about wealth,  power, fame, or even security.  It’s about something else.  I still can’t put my finger on it but it’s more than the present ethereal.  

There is a Netflix documentary on Moses.  I won’t recap his full story but it’s nothing short of epic.  At some point, however, he screws up majorly – killing a man and going into exile into the desert.  Where he languishes for years until God shows up Old Testament style and sets him on the path of his destiny – the Deliverer.  A commentator said that this was God’s M.O. – to take something broken and repurposing it.  That’s not exactly true.  That would be like taking a broken lamp and turning it into a coat hanger. 

What God does with Moses is entirely different.  He transforms the brokenness into pure greatness.  Almost like a superhero story.  The trauma births the hero.  I don’t think it can happen any other way.  The great Bruce Lee established his enduring philosophy of combat and life only after he broke his back.

When I look back at the skills I’m proud of, I see how they were birthed in pain.  I’m not a natural athlete or musician, but I could hold my own against and with more talented ones.  It wasn’t just work.  It was also desire motivated by massive quantities of pain.  

The beatings made me wise.