1. A former mentor put his career on hold for more than a decade to raise his children.  He said that once they left for college, things would change significantly.  On a related note,  the research in the criminal justice/law enforcement field shows that if a kid isn’t properly grounded by 12 or so, the probability of him or her joining a youth gang increases exponentially.

2. Many things in life follow a U-curve.  Too little or too much of anything – money, food, leisure, work, attention, etc is harmful.   The same principle applies to parenting and fighter jet design.  Kids need stability. But too much can become control and constraint.   The F-16 was designed to allow some flight instability in order to increase maneuvering ability.  In life, some chaos will always find you, so maybe it’s the way we respond.  But allowing some in isn’t the worst thing.  Note also the cockpit that reduces blind spots and allows for maximum observation. 

3.  With all that in mind, I’m wondering whether the kid that tests and even rebels against their parents’ teaching and value system the most will also be the ones to internalize and practice the most.  I’ve seen this in matters of faith and in the example of Michael Corleone (the only one of the Don’s sons to initially reject his vision).  Perhaps it is the benefit of an independent and searching spirit that accounts for this state of events.