I wrote someone about the hockey goalies I admired as a kid – the Washington Capitals’ Don Beaupre and the US Men’s Olympic Team’s Ray LeBlanc.  Not the biggest ones out there, but their courage and resilience spoke to me.  One of the skills I regret not picking up was learning to ice skate otherwise I would have love to give the ice version a go.  I did play a lot of street and the floor versions as a goalie.

This one is about not letting the bastards grind you down.

In high school gym class, we were in the street hockey segment of the semester.  So much fun and better than the running ones.  Still nothing as bad as the gymnastics segments in middle school where I could only do a forward roll and somewhat jump over the pommel horse.  But in street hockey, those hours emulating the butterfly style of saving shots paid off.  I was rarely scored on.  

This one time, however, I remember making a point blank save of a slapshot by catching it.  With my bare hand.  For some reason, I didn’t have my catching glove on that day.  One of my teammates exclaimed – did you see that?  And of course, some enticed rich kid minimized and dismissed it as nothing to write home about.

His name was James.  I’ve said previously that almost every Robert or Andrew I know are superior human beings (except one with the ugly wife).  My luck with James is more mixed.  Most have been arrogant bags including the one who made fun of eating chicken feet at a dimsum restaurant.  He was actually a graduate of an elite law school so we see how brains are not everything.

It wasn’t just a good save. 

It was a great one.

But he had to say something to ruin the moment.  I was too young and not confident enough to understand but it was just his insecurity speaking.  You would think people grow out of this but they often don’t.  I call it defensive arrogance.  Affirm and validate others, it goes a long way.

And if you can’t get that from some, they really aren’t worth that much to begin with.  I have some supremely talented friends who don’t really know it.  They have been surrounded by clowns of the same  cloth who can’t hold a candle to who they are.

When I was a teacher and manager, I would try to accentuate the strengths of whom I was in charge of.  When I had to grade or write performance reviews, I placed all the positives in writing and the things they had to work on verbally so it wouldn’t come back to bite them.  I didn’t receive the same treatment – I have one that makes me look like Jesus and Judas at the same time.  It was written by multiple people and I could tell who wrote what.  

The truly strong will carry you.  The weak will step on you.  Never forget that.  Don’t let the latter grind you down.

On a related note,

I sometimes think of how I would customize my goalie mask if I had played at a more competitive level.  Usually, goalless have something that is meaningful painted on theirs.  Back then, it would have been something different.  But now, I’d probably go with a dragon and monkey – the two Chinese zodiac animals of my kids and a combination of the Malaysian and American flag, which are virtually identical – the only difference being the former has a yellow crescent moon and 14 point star while the latter has 50 white stars.

Don’t let the bastards grind you down.