(From the DA years)

The one topic that I have been wrestling with recently is the issue of surrendering to God’s will.  I can now understand a bit better what Abraham had to go through when called by God to sacrifice his beloved son, Isaac. 

Do I love God more than anything?  And if called to give it up, would I be able to do so?  Can I still bless His name?

These questions relate to all in my life that is important to me – career, my concept of how my life is supposed to go, future children (if any). 

The question is also more than theoretical.  It is a certainty that in our lives we will encounter these moments where we are called by God to do something seemingly ridiculous or repulsive.  I think of my friends who have lost parents, siblings, spouses, or their own children.  

Our turns will all come.  My turn will come. I must imagine that a good number of people deal with these difficult issues by either ignoring them or telling themselves that they will not happen to them.  

Some even use religion to avoid these issues by trying to do all the “right” things in thinking that God will somehow protect them from pain.  I may not be as experienced or mature as others, but I am pretty sure that these methods do not work.  Ignorance or lying to oneself does not stop things from happening.  

Likewise, the story of Job clearly refutes the assertion that living a faithful life guarantees a trouble-free one. I can see why people have problems with true Christianity and being dependent on God.  It is so much easier to believe and to live like one is in control, even if not total, of his or her life.  The way of the world is about grabbing, clutching, and climbing.  

And logically and temporally speaking, that seems to make a lot more sense than what Christ calls us to do – to die to ourselves and to surrender to the will of our Father.  Who in their right mind would choose to wander alone or to open themselves up to ridicule?  Who in their right mind assaults a city by marching around it blowing horns and banging on drums? Who in their right mind would allow themselves to be falsely accused and to accept the road to crucifixion? 

But somehow, God says that the way of the world is not the way to life.  This thought, however, goes against all our sense of self-preservation.  But holding on to this the world’s way of thinking is actually self-delusion.  And perhaps the way God reminds us of this fact is the constant call to return to Him through suffering or tough choices. M. Craig Barnes writes that the only true way to enjoy our gifts is to surrender them back to God before He actually takes them away.  

I think like Abraham, we are called every single day to offer what we hold most dear to us.  And maybe it is when we are willing to offer those things do we receive them back. The truth is that we will all lose our lives and dreams, whether we want to or not.  The only choice we have is whether to give them up willingly for God to do something with them or to have them taken from us against our will.