(For the girl I lit the candles for)

I really, really thought by now I would have found a place to belong, to call home.

But I just couldn’t latch anywhere – location or job wise.  Every time I thought I found a place to belong, something out of my control happened and I no longer belonged (I am telling the truth here, most of my career post law school were political positions that changed like the wind).  I often belonged and didn’t simultaneously, the mark of one destined or cursed to wander and never settle.

For an introvert who disdains change, I’ve lived and worked in many places – geographically and organizationally.  One of my favorite set of lyrics comes from Metallica’s Wherever I May Roam:

Rover, wanderer, nomad, vagabond 

Call me what you will

But I’ll take my time anywhere 

Free to speak my mind anywhere 

And I’ll redefine anywhere Anywhere I roam

Where I lay my head is home… 

Under wandering stars I’ve grown 

By myself, but not alone

These words have always spoken to me for some reason or other.  The call to travel and learn, to be free.  I can live with this – I really did learn and experience a lot.

Yet, I still long to belong. To find home.  But maybe it’s not about a physical or geographical location.  Rather, it’s more of an emotional, even spiritual concept.  Humans need to be protected, valued, loved.  I’m not sure I received much of those in this life.

And that is what I’m still searching and looking for.