(For the girl I lit the candles for)

I’m glad I told you.

I was going to wait longer but trusted my instincts (and maybe better judgement) and went ahead.  I actually felt so conflicted and even guilty for so long about how I felt.  At first, I thought it was a mistake, but within a few months, I realized it would be one of the best decisions I would ever make in my life. There’s a short story by Guy de Maupassant, Regret, where someone who has loved another for a long time has the opportunity to tell her, but for some reason or other doesn’t.  Years later, the beloved tells him that she would have responded favorably if he did.  When he asks why she didn’t say anything, she replies that it wasn’t her place.  I wasn’t going to be the fool that doesn’t take the opportunity. 

Even now.

In addition to you telling me you knew by the way I looked at you, you also told me that the only thing you saw in me was that I didn’t judge people.  I came to realize that’s probably one of my better attributes.

After we talked, I spoke to ———- and she comforted me.  That next morning I was more resolute in how I felt. I knew that it was still my choice to love you and I could still hope, wait, pray.

Like now.