I never felt small on the basketball even with bigger, taller players.  I had actually more problems guarding smaller, quicker ones.  I modeled my game after big combo guards like Larry Hughes and swingmen like James Posey.

In a similar fashion, even though I was usually one of the only Asians in the schools, units, squads, commands, and even the entire organization I was part of, I did not let that fact define me.  But it did matter, as I would learn to my detriment.

I’ve been a minority my entire life.  I’m grateful for the US, it would have been so much worse in Malaysia.  I told a close trusted friend that it’s not the explicit stuff that kills you, it’s the implicit instances that do.  Those are the knives that stick in your ribs.

Hard to prove, sometimes to detect, but wow, when you feel it, you know it.  Especially in the fields I found myself in.  That so-called bamboo ceiling?  Not only did I not break through, I don’t think I even got close.  In fact, at the end, I was closer to the floor.

I have amazing friends and mentors of all ethnicities and religious persuasions.  So I hold no ill will or blame to anyone.  But if I could only repeat the stunning and shocking things said and done to me.  I had to use the teachings of Bruce, Boyd, Sun Tzu, etc. just to stay afloat.  And it wasn’t enough.

I have a judge friend who sent me a video of her daughter wearing her robes.  I remarked that this would be a preview of her future – that she would be a Supreme Court Justice one day.  My friend replied that she hoped that her daughter would pick something more creative, like be a rock star such as Bono (our favorite).

I once had visions of the kids being pezzonovantes – breaking into the upper echelon of society per the Godfather.  Probably still on the table because it’s important for Asians,but I can also see why they shouldn’t play that game.

But maybe one day, per Alfred in the Dark Knight, burn not only the ceiling but the whole bamboo forest down.