For those who actually know me, they know I’m pretty moderate in my views and beliefs.  I have close friends of every ethnicity, background, faith (or none), sexual orientation, etc.  I’m good with all of that – I think people are more than what they identify with.  It’s still about the soft eyes, heart, and the backbone.   

But I really didn’t enjoy being usually one of the only Asians, if not the only one, in many of the environments I was in.  It was downright annoying and tiring.  It gave me certain advantages, but the drawbacks were significant too.  Constantly underestimated and mislabeled, it takes a toll.  I told the girl I lit the candles for that I had a crap choice to make – be a doormat or threat.  You can guess what I chose. 

I ask this question – a bit tongue in cheek – name the second most famous Asian American.  I’ll spare you the suspense for number one – it’s Bruce Lee – he was born in the US although raised in Hong Kong.  Second?  That’s hard.  Michelle Kwan, Grace Park, that guy who ran for President?  I don’t know and honestly don’t care.

At the NYPD, I was in a meeting with the Department’s Chief of Staff.  He goes to me – Who are you?  I wanted to go Russell Crowe on him as in the Gladiator movie where he goes – Commander of the armies of the north, general of the Felix Legions, so on so forth but I didn’t answer.  I stayed silent and gave him my introvert face.  Wasn’t trying to be rude or disrespectful. That was just instinct.  I usually let other things speak for me – especially my work and on the field or court, knocking people to the ground.

But I also liked to throw people off a bit.  I’d rap during some staff get togethers – Snoop Dogg, Geto Boys, P. Diddy.  I don’t really know that genre all that well but memorized some for their cadence and lyricism.  During Bible study in Boston after someone would play one of those worship songs that sounded like elevator music, I’d ask to borrow the guitar and launch into some Hendrix or Stone Tenple Pilots.

Here’s the thing.  I wasn’t trying to be white, black, Malaysian, whatever.  Or even some breaker of Asian stereotypes.

I was being myself.

I remember this clip of Jay-Z in Paris when some Frenchie asked him “Who are you?”  I don’t think the question was ill meant but out of curiosity at his entourage.

The reply was perfect.

Who are you?