I once read you don’t want to overvalidate children.  The reason – they will stop doing things out of joy, desire, necessity, or the worst case, because it’s the right thing to do.  The validation has become the goal, the prize.  I had several bosses with Ivy League pedigrees.  Absolutely book smart, many times lacking in the street component and common sense.  Someone I knew with a similar pedigree said that they were “hoop jumpers” never really forced to question or challenge.

The suggested solution was to validate more when young and then wean off.  This probably applies to concepts like leadership, faith, etc.

Perhaps it’s because of the Asian culture or flawed parents, but I didn’t receive much validation.  Stings but the silver lining is that it forced me to think really hard on what I wanted to accomplish or do.  Don’t get me wrong, I had so much doubt along the way – in myself, God, the works.

I don’t practice this with the kids, I try to be positive and encouraging, but you know what’s sometimes effective?  A little bit of telling someone they can’t do something.  Many things my sometimes harsh, cruel mother said I wouldn’t or couldn’t do, I hit right out of the park like David Ortiz.