I also think it’s about surrendering everything to God and seeing what you receive back. Ultimately, do we believe that what God gives us back is not only good for us but something that we also receive and perceive as good. Something that we realized we needed and even wanted. 

When I look at others who appear to have straighter and smoother paths, it’s easy to envy and wonder. But while there are upsides to that type of journey, there are also downsides. Again, we all learn on our journeys but many times, the harder the journey, the more you learn. I explain it to my kids – that to get from point A to B, you can either take a cruise or solo sail. Pros and cons to each. No right answer. 

The question I have – is the pain worth it? And maybe that’s not even the right question. Does one see God more in one option and is that worth it? 

But back to surrender. This priest I like says that surrender doesn’t mean God takes stuff away. It means you give Him access to work with it. This is in all contexts. Like our gifts, we surrender those to Him and we hear back what to do with them. 

This period has rearranged and reset many of my relationships. It needed to happen. I could see people but they couldn’t see me. I saw a range of humans – poor to rich, weak to powerful. They are all broken. I see more clearly now. Who people really are. That was my main skill over this life. Having to read and handle people. I had a great journey. When my son was dedicated at church, parents had no to write down their hopes for their baby. Others wrote paragraphs. I wrote one line “May he have a great journey and the strength to endure it.”

I wore the friendship bracelet you made me in college until it frayed. It was beautiful. The colors (red white black) are my true soul. And your laugh, it is unique and I love it.