The Defense Against the Dark Arts course at Hogwarts was a genius idea by JK Rowling. A portion of a course I taught involved a similar concept. My students appreciated it. I actually haven’t read any of the books but have watched all the movies. I recently remarked to a friend that all the Defense teachers were evil and she corrected me that a few were misunderstood. I can relate.  

I’ve found out that people apply what they know to what I know. And it often doesn’t align. I remember reading about an FBI profiler who would look at crime scene details during the day and come home to dinner to listen to his wife stress out about something trivial in comparison like the color of drapes. It’s a common problem in not only law enforcement but in general. I didn’t specifically have this issue after a few years in the field because I figured out how to compartmentalize. In fact, I learned to not let on what I saw by talking about funny things. For me, the harder scenarios in which this gap has manifested are the family, cultural, and political minefields I’ve faced. I’ve rarely to never spoken about them. It’s not that I fear people not understanding but them misunderstanding. Especially with those closest. 

Before my junior year of college, I was a camp counselor in North Carolina. I’ve written about this. It was a lot of fun although chaotic. To deal with homesick kids, the camp had a mental health specialist to counsel them. My friend, who was a counselor like me, had a kid who found it hard to fit in. The specialist talked to him in my friend’s presence and mine. After talking to the kid, he tells us both that he knew we had seen a lot. Usually, most can’t tell but he knew somehow. I learned later that my friend’s brother has died in a car accident. I stayed over at her house and met her parents. They were still affected. 

I can see that God not only allowed so many chaotic and traumatic events to happen but planned then. Each earlier event prepared me somewhat for one in the future. That was part of the plan He had. I needed to accomplish certain things in each location I was sent to. The beauty of it all is there was something surprising in each place that was good. I also could not imagine getting to see what I’ve seen, met the people I’ve met, and experienced what I’ve experienced. The trauma was either the cost of the good parts or maybe a very small part in comparison. While I recall the bad things that have happened, I remember more clearly the good. 

North Carolina for example. The camp was poorly run. But I have fond memories of this time. I meet cool people, the kids liked me, I dance with a few pretty girls, and I listen to James Taylor’s Gone to Carolina the rest of the summer. Like pretty much every other location I’ve been at, I felt out of place. I was the only Asian there and they put me on the front cover of the brochure for the following year. Now I look back, I understand more clearly why God placed me there – a pattern of which I would like to tell you about eventually. Possibly why God put me on this Earth and something I’ve rarely good anyone because like some of the Defense teachers, if will not only be not understood but misunderstood.