Beautiful
Broken
Summer nights when the heat still lingers
View after the hike up the mountain
Pure surprise, light, joy
Grace like rain
The miraculous catch in the outfield
Uncontrollable power of the ocean
And its periods of serenity and calm
The imprecise but elegant equation
The perfect blend of watercolors
Broken
Beautiful
You
Firmly but gently
That’s how I want to hold you
As I did with my guitar
Strumming the pain with my fingers
My children while they slept as babies
With my whispered dreams hovering over them
All the ones I’ve loved
With reckless abandon and surrender
My hopes, so great and fragile
Yet concrete and certain
And my faith, precious and powerful
The anchor in serenity and storm
Let me hold you
The peace in confusion
Bass line in the song
Grace in sin
The presence of the most high
What did I not fight?
Monsters
Injustice
Ignorance
Dark nights
Self-doubt
Fear
Weaknesses
God, even Him
I fought for others
My children
Myself
Love
God, I think
And now
With all I have left
All that I still am
I fight
For you
And I cry out for the living God
For His presence and comfort
My heart belongs to Him
Only His can be fully trusted
But I also cry out out for you
Like on many nights
In the thunderstorm
Gently falling snow
Moonlit and moonless ones
The dreary, cloudy
When all seems lost and forgotten
And nothing seems to be happening
Except the tick tock of the clock of faith
Silent protection of angel guards
And the hurtling of all things
To where they need to be
He’s not as hungry tonight as he usually is
Maybe it’s the cold greasy chicken
Or perhaps the sloppily prepared potatoes
Suddenly he starts speaking, words as hard as his bread
And I realize I was dead wrong
Hunger tonight is not so easily satisfied
I hear of state championships and winning baskets
Crossing goal lines in front of screaming cheerleaders
And how the lights must have shone one the field
And how dim and quiet it was in the aftermath
I wondered how many times has he replayed this
Long forgotten glory etched in his crumbling spirit
And wished for the noise but only hearing deafening silence
For a moment, his eyes betray sparks of fiery passion
That even cold food and blanketless nights cannot extinguish.
She walks in the room and I know I’ve lost you
Sometimes I think I should make you sit in the corner
Where it would be harder for you to notice her
But I never do that because I understand more than you know
The moments of angst and sadness
Watching her glide through the hallways of school
Thanking God your last name was close to hers alphabetically
So that you could have a locker nearby
And you wouldn’t have to hide behind a corner
Just to catch a glimpse of an unattainable angel
For a moment, I want to stop the class and let you go
Her too, so you two can talk alone
But I know that you must suffer through another hour
Not so much of a boring lesson, but quiet resignation
I love you
With all my Malaysian heart
We are fierce
Loyal, tough, unrelenting
How could it be any other way?
The best jungle fighters in the world
We never stop fighting
We never say die
Our land is soaked with our blood
Tanah tumpahnya darahku
The heart of the tiger
Harimau Malaya
And Terang Bulan
The light of our crescent moon
I wanted you to see me
But like so many
You can’t
Or you won’t
And that is the heartbreak
In this miserable
Exhaustinau
Beautiful
Journey
All the shots I made
Absorbed
Saved
Took
Saw
They didn’t matter all that much
And yet they did
A fucking waste of time
That echoes in eternity
Empty quiver now
All wasted
All spent
All gone
Wouldn’t change a thing
Have it any other way
At least I didn’t kneel
Live and die on this day
Live and die on this day
You walked too slowly for me not to notice
So I picked you up against my better judgment
I think it was the milk carton you were carrying
That changed my mind because I pitied you
At first I thought you were some poor father
Who had to walk miles to buy milk for his family
Not knowing that milk and liquor tasted better to you
You told me to turn right and drive as long as I could
Among other things that burned you into my memory
But you were telling me to go nowhere, into nothing
Too ironic for the situation, poetic nonetheless
As I dropped you off at an imaginary bar
In the middle of a barren cornfield.
Holy Holy Holy
2 amazing kids
Lord God Almighty
200 cases
Early in the morning
Hundreds of students
Our song shall rise to Thee
Thousands of shots made
And I’ll take my time anywhere
46 states, 25 countries
Free to speak my mind anywhere
Secrets kept
Anywhere I roam
Countless songs sung
Where I lay my head is home
Songs of Pain and Hope 