When I go to a science type of museum, I can’t resist playing with one of those speed gun exhibits that measure how fast one can throw a baseball.  I wish I could throw as hard as a pitcher but I can’t. I have a decent arm for my size but don’t have the velocity for some reason.  I could, however, throw out runners from my position in the outfield and if fortune shined on me, could even reach home plate from closer in with my throws.

But here’s the thing – after college, it hurt like hell every time I threw the ball.  

Like hell.

I’ve written about this elsewhere but I have tears in my arm and shoulder that I hurt playing football in Philadelphia shortly before leaving for law school.  Philadelphia – the city that keeps on giving – in more ways than one.  Life always was so packed with more pressing needs so I’ve never had it checked out.  But it’s major – when I was in the hospital. I had a few scans for other parts but when I was returned to my bed, the staff thought it was my shoulder and arm that was the reason I was there.

This one is about costs.

If you want to do anything that is really worth a damn, it will likely be downright painful.  You’ll likely do it without much support and with opposition.  This can be seen through history.  I used to assign my students a project where thy would research a great person through the lens of leadership.  One of them would be Steve Jobs.  During their presentation, students would often show an iconic commercial that Apple produced highlighting visionaries, innovators, creative thinkers.  Invariably, most if not all were in some way questioned, doubted, even scorned.

Not only is this mentality stupid, it is also dangerous.

I’ve started to think it’s not about changing the world but rather returning or realigning it to what it should be.  At the church I grew up in, one of the pastors taught that we should live a quiet life, causing as few waves as possible.

Fuck that.

I don’t think this is about grandiose, unattainable dreams and visions.  But I don’t think it’s about that.  It is still about letting God into the seams and cracks of life to work His magic.  And that can be scary and painful.  The payoff is likely great and worth the pain.  This principle applies in many areas – work life, raising children, dreaming big, etc.  

My arm hurt a lot – not just throwing a ball but also playing guitar, shooting a basketball, and when I sleep on that side.  I’ve learned to live with it.  I just remember those throws I used to make and it helps.

And standing under the sun on the field.