I was a decent to good guitar player. It actually took me a while to grasp the fundamentals because I was a slow learner, didn’t have a knack for reading music, and didn’t have a good ear. Even to this day, I can’t detect simple chord progressions. I had to play along to songs on the radio to hone my skill. Also used a bit of a cheat called tablature to learn songs. I did end up becoming proficient enough to play for RM’s jazz ensemble. It took a lot of trial and error, embarrassment, and persistence to even have a basic competence level to practice, much less perform. 

The role of the guitar in jazz isn’t like that in other genres like rock, blues, or country. In those genres, the guitar is more prominent as a rhythm or solo instrument. In jazz, the guitar is not supposed to be heard but if it’s missing, you will know its absence. It is part of the rhythm section although I think that is also a bit of a misplacement. The drums, bass guitar or standup bass, and even the piano are way more audible and have more of a noticeable impact on establishing the rhythm for the entire group. 

In jazz, I feel the guitar provides the color, tone, and depth. It fit my role a lot in this life. Present but hidden. Hidden but present. I could play prominent roles if I needed to but my power and strength were behind the scenes. Even when I played basketball, the one sport I played the most, I was never the top scorer, rebounder, assister, stealer. But in a game, I would have stats in each category while my teammates would have some but not all. I knew how to do the little things to make the team function. Oh and I hustled like crazy. People would tremble when they saw that I was going to guard them. I’ve written about this before – I broke my colleagues’s arm during a game and once I clotheslined someone who threatened to hurt my college suitemate. 

Oh and that jumpshot – as often the only Asian on the court, I knew I had to make them at a higher clip than average. Even my brother said that he didn’t need to turn his head when those watching a game would gasp in awe or cheer. He said he knew I made another 3 pointer. I got so good I could hit when guarded closely. I held back though. I could have shot more if I wanted to. Maybe it was confidence but I also think I just didn’t want to look like a selfish player. I liked making my teammates shine. 

But back to guitar. Someone asked me recently why I don’t play anymore. I replied that I wasn’t good by myself but with others. The solo performance thing didn’t go well with me. I played a set once though in high school for a Theory of Knowledge class. My friend played with me. A song I wrote, Allison Road, and Wonderful Tonight. I was so nervous and my voice was shaking at the start. When I finished, my classmates erupt in applause. A few girls who had never spoken to me in my entire high school career approach and are interested in knowing more about me. But I’m shy and insecure, so I demur and deflect. 

But once in a blue moon, I picked up one when the opportunity presented itself and I couldn’t help but show off a bit. It’s nice once in a while to throw people off their guard and show them a different side. I often think what song I would start off with – Yellow Ledbetter for sure but I also realized All Along the Watchtower. The former is complex while the latter is a simple three chord progression. I liked seeing the look on peoples’ faces. It took so many hours of practice to get to that point. 

And that jumpshot. In the rain, sun, snow, wind. And what I tell people as the punchline – when I was crying. How easy it was to make them when I wasn’t. How easy it was. 

I haven’t touched a basketball or guitar for years. I think they will come back if I tried again.